


Terrible Dietary Habits

by ExcavatingLizard



Series: Moments out of time [3]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humor, One Shot, Tumblr Prompt, absolutely no beta we die like REAL MEN, avocado, but it's just a dumb oneshot it's not serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29739525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExcavatingLizard/pseuds/ExcavatingLizard
Summary: Wait, are you one of those people who put sugar on avocados? Because that's justwrong.
Series: Moments out of time [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2169735
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Terrible Dietary Habits

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a dumb warm-up I did which I liked enough to post. Imagine this is pre-Discovery.  
> [prompt](https://colormayfade.tumblr.com/generator): you're sat alone in the canteen eating an avocado with a teaspoon r u ok  
> Rating for language

“Was there something you needed?”

“Well,” Sylvia shifted nervously. _Shit._ She knew she should have left the weird chick alone. The other woman’s stare was making her feel like all her intestines were being wrapped around her throat. Yes, exactly like that. It was inexplicable. Then again, Sylvia couldn't take anyone who ate avocados plain seriously. That was like begging to be mocked.

“You’re sitting alone in the cafeteria. Eating an avocado with a teaspoon. You didn’t even put salt on it, I was watching. Not that I was staring at you or anything, I just…” Sylvia trailed off. This was going even worse than she had expected. “Are you okay?”

The other woman stood and turned to leave. “I am fine. It is none of your concern.”

She moved to throw away the avocado, but Sylvia reached out for her hand. “Wait, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, but don’t throw out a perfectly good avocado. You didn’t even touch the other half. If you aren’t going to eat it, I will.”

Avocado Lady turned back to her and stiffly held out the untouched half to Sylvia.

“You need a spoon,” she said, not moving from her position.

Sylvia shrugged, “I can just use yours if you’re not going to finish. I figure you're not sick or anything.”

Avocado Lady glanced down at the spoon she was still holding, before looking back at Sylvia.

“…Or, I can get my own,” Sylvia muttered before walking to the salad bar and grabbing an extra spoon.

When she got back to the table Avocado Lady was sitting again, eyeing Sylvia and she sat down. Her expression changed to one of barely muted disgust as Sylvia started grinding salt over her own half. “Just because you can eat your grass lump plain doesn’t mean we’re all masochists.” Sylvia laughed and she began to eat.

“I’ve never seen someone do that.”

Sylvia looked at her incredulously. “Where the hell did you grow up? How could you never have put salt on an avocado before? Wait, are you one of those people who put _sugar_ on avocados? Because that's just wrong.”

Avocado Lady snorted.

“Anyway, you totally have to try it. Here,” Sylvia passed over the salt grinder, and Avocado Lady took it gingerly, “you still have some left, so you can reclaim your dignity.”

Avocado Lady raised an eyebrow, but ground the salt over her remaining avocado and took a tentative bite. Her eyes flashed, and she quickly swallowed the rest of it.

Sylvia laughed, “That good huh? I told you, you can’t eat these things plain. Only health food nuts do that. Ensign Connor insists that you can’t put salt on _anything_. There’s no way I’m ever letting her cook for me, no matter what she says.”

“Her opinion is illogical. The human body requires sodium to survive," she interjected.

“Well look at you, textbook!”

“Burnham.”

“What?” Sylvia tipped her head. _Burn him?_ What had she said?

“Michael Burnham. That’s my name.”

“Well, Michael,” Sylvia smiled, “Sylvia Tilly. Nice to meet you. But honestly, if I ever have to watch you eat an avocado like that again I _will_ steal your kneecaps.” She stood and deposited her Avocado in the recycling unit before turning to leave.

“I do not believe that-”

“It’s not literal, honey.” Sylvia winced. _Where had that come from?_ “I have to go. Bye.”

She could feel Michael’s gaze on her back long after she knew she was out of sight.


End file.
